It Is Time To Give Up On Jonathan By Michael Egbejumi- David

It is a poorly kept secret that,
in the Jonathan’s household,
the Mrs, Patience, is the one
who wears the pants. She
rules the roost. She is the
one in charge; the boss.
In some cases, the woman
being in charge is not
actually a bad thing. In fact,
it can be a good thing.
However, I’m not sure if this
is the case with the first
family. It certainly isn’t
proving to be the case now.
When you look at Jonathan,
when you behold and have
been thoroughly put off by
Goodluck’s docility, his lack
of vigour and rigour, you
would understand why
Patience had to take charge.
It’s just a shame that she
doesn’t know where to draw
the line.
It was recently reported that
Mrs Jonathan has remained
on the payroll of the Bayelsa
State civil service despite the
fact that she hasn’t turned
up for work for even one
minute since her husband
became the Deputy Governor
in 1999. Regardless of all
that, she was still considered
an active staff member and
was being paid in full by the
Ministry of Education (of all
places!)
I was still digesting that
appalling news and
wondering when Reuben
Abati would come out and
announce that Mrs Jonathan
has returned all the salaries
and allowances she has been
pocketing since 1999, when
worse news floated in. This
one came directly from the
Head of Bayelsa State Civil
Service, Gloria Izonfo. She
announced that the same
Mrs Jonathan has been
appointed a Permanent
Secretary. I can just imagine
Don King’s hair standing on
end as he shouts, “Only in
Nigeria!”
For one, this is sycophancy
gone out of hand. People
will recall that the current
governor, Seriake Dickson
was one of the Abuja
politicians who were used to
fight the previous governor,
Timipre Sylva to a standstill
until his election was
annulled in April 2008 by the
Court of Appeal. Back then,
Dickson, a House of
Representative member,
avowed that the majority of
PDP stakeholders in Bayelsa
would not support Sylva’s
candidacy to run again at a
new election that was
mandated after 90 days. He
called Sylva “unacceptable”
and a person lacking in skills
to “build consensus.”
A Loyal Jonathan disciple, in
2012 Dickson was rewarded
with the governorship after
his oga became President
and Sylva had been kicked
hard into exile. Dickson was
declared the winner of the
governorship election by the
State Returning Officer, Prof
Joseph Ajienka. (More about
him later)
As per our culture in Nigeria,
Dickson is now thanking his
oga through madam,
however, he is doing it all
wrong.
But, there’s a larger issue:
Mrs Jonathan stopped going
in to work sometime in
1999. That is some 13 years
ago. Let us do the math:
According to her own bio,
Mrs Jonathan got her NCE
(Teacher training) diploma in
1989. Then she proceeded to
the University of Port
Harcourt for a 3 year
Bachelor’s programme in
Biology and Psychology,
finishing, presumably, in
1992. Then she became a
teacher at a Secondary
School where she was until
1997. In 1997, she left and
went into Community
Banking.
Then things become sketchy.
At some point, post 1997,
Mrs Jonathan left the bank
and returned “to the
classroom briefly again as a
teacher.” Then “she was
transferred to the Bayelsa
State Ministry of Education,
where she served until 29
May 1999 when her husband
became the Deputy Governor
of the State.”
So. Ok. Let’s say Mrs
Jonathan stayed in the
banking sector for just one
year. That would mean that
she returned to teaching in
1998. A few months later,
she joined the Ministry of
Education in Bayelsa. To be
generous, let us say she was
with that Ministry for a full
calendar year before she
became Second Lady of
Bayelsa. Once they were in
office, Mrs Jonathan never
darkened the doors of the
Education Ministry again.
However, she continued to
draw a salary. On 12 July
2012, with just one single
solitary practical active year
experience in the Education
Ministry, she was made its
Permanent Secretary.
Please stop laughing.
So, what are the duties and
responsibilities of a
Permanent Secretary? The
number one job of a
Permanent Secretary is to
run the department on a day-
to-day basis. Effectively, the
Permanent Secretary is the
chief executive of a particular
government department,
overseeing its operations
including, budgets,
personnel, training, etc, etc.
The Permanent Secretary also
provides reports and advice
to the political head of the
Ministry, the Commissioner.
Permanent Secretaries are
also the accounting Officers
for their department, which
means they are directly
answerable to the Legislature
for financial matters.
Furthermore, Permanent
Secretaries chair their
departments’ Management
Boards.
Mrs Jonathan will do all of
this and more with just one
year of entry level experience
under her belt; an experience
acquired some 13 years ago.
Please now. I told you to
curtail your laughter.
We have been told however –
in an attempt at clarification –
that Mrs Jonathan will do this
in absentia. A brand new
concept; a Permanent
Secretary in absentia. Only
in Jonathan’s Nigeria. In
effect, Mrs Jonathan was just
awarded a title for later use.
The First Lady appellation
would appear inadequate. A
further attempt at
clarification was made on 14
July 2012 by a Special
Assistant to the governor,
Daniel Iworiso-Markson. He
said, “The State government
believes that the services of
the First Lady to the
development of Bayelsa State
and Nigeria qualify as
essential service, which
should be recognised and
rewarded.”
Good God! You cannot make
this up, even if you were
writing a very bad movie
script. Provincial outlook is
being nationalised. We are
being force-fed parochial
backwater thinking and
behaviour from the riverside.
Lack of refinement and
outrageous buffoonery has
been elevated to statecraft.
God help us all.
As a man, when your
truculent wife comes to you
with news of such
“promotion,” you are
supposed to quickly pour
deserved ice water on it. You
are supposed to show her the
million ways in which it is
wrong and inappropriate. As
a Head of State, you ought to
then go further and insist on
decency, pick up the phone,
call the bloody governor of
Bayelsa and tell him to keep
his Greek gift. Tell him not
to ridicule further a
government that is already
struggling to convince people
that it is a serious one. I just
don’t understand: Is it that
some people simply lack the
ability to see what everyone
else can see or they just
don’t care?
But it is clear Mrs Jonathan
calls the shots at home.
Clearly, the President is not
able to curtail her
overbearing and flagrant
impulses. He gave up trying
long ago. Our Jonah is just
too happy for her to go do
her thing at any cost and
leave him alone with all her
wahala. In any event, they
own the day now, so
anything goes. Weak,
distasteful and very
unseemly.
Not too long ago, ‘twas for
the same Jonathan that an
Italian construction company,
Gitto Construzioni Generali,
built a huge church in the
heart of his village. Jonathan
even saw it fit to defend such
farce and obvious
corruption. Why didn’t the
same firm build churches in
other villages before or after
Jonathan’s?
Just last month, Mrs Jonathan
was awarded a Doctorate by
the University of Port
Harcourt. On hand to confer
that honorary degree on her
was Prof Ajienka, the Vice
Chancellor of the University.
Yes, the same Prof Joseph
Ajienka, State Electoral
Returning Officer who
declared Dickson
governorship winner. Same
day, President Jonathan
approved N3 billion for the
development of the
University of Port Harcourt.
These are just the ones we
know about o.
This is where we now find
ourselves. Everything is so
gauche. There is a complete
absence of shame. No
decorum, no circumspection.
It is Idi Amin declaring
himself the King of Scotland
all over again.
And the sovereignty of 150
million souls is entrusted in
the care of this man? Wasn’t
it Fela who sang that ‘Upside
Down get them meaning
too?’ Nigeria we hail thee.
This poor country just cannot
catch a break

demdem@hotmail.co.uk
Twitter: demdemdem1

#CONSENSUS 2015