Beer Math By Hannatu Musawa

Here’s a conundrum for you:
• First, pick the number of
times a week you would like
to have a mineral drink. (It
should be more than 1 but
less than 10).
• Multiply this number by 2.
• Add 5.
• Multiply it by 50.
• If you’ve already had your
birthday this year add 1762.
If you haven’t, add 1761.
• Now subtract the four-digit
year that you were born. You
should have a three-digit
number The first digit of this
was your original number of
the number of times a week
you would like to have a
mineral drink. The next two
numbers are……. YOUR AGE!
When a friend told me that
she could work out my age
using a formula known as
beer math, it initially
sounded strange. When she
started working it out using
the above formula, the whole
‘add’ this, ‘subtract’ that and
‘multiply’ those seemed
complicated. But at the end
when I saw that the formula
added up to my age and the
number of drinks I had
chosen in my mind, the
whole complex process
seemed to somehow make
sense. The fact that the
answer to the puzzle is
accurate no matter the
number of drinks chosen and
the age of the person I tried
it on reinforces, in my mind,
the notion that sometimes
one is confronted with a
scenario that, on the face of
it, seem unworkable, but in
the end, the result makes
sense. Much like the way I
view Nigeria, a country of
250 different types of people
lumbered together in one
geographical location. A
country with so much
difficulties and dimensions
but in the end, despite our
troubles, it’s a country that
makes sense to me.
Presently this nation exists
within an atmosphere of
divide and blame; so much so
that people are calling for the
separation of the country
openly. The game where we
blame each other for all the
evils in our country never
resonated more than a
millisecond with me. I have
always believed that the past
and present government
officials who have fluffed up
the affairs of the country and
the extremists that have
chosen to exact a culture of
violence are individually
responsible for their own
actions and it is unreasonable
to extend guilt by association
to everyone else with whom
they share the same ethnic
identity.
It is a fact that every
decision, embezzlement and
indiscretion made by our
governments and leaders
have been made by people
from the various different
parts of the country as they
assemble a government of
national character. It is no
news to Nigerians that
kidnapping, 419, armed
robberies has been carried
out by the different array of
people across this country.
Even the bombings and
violence now predominantly
carried out by Boko-Haram
first reared its ugly head
when the Niger-Delta
militants unleashed terror on
civilians in the FCT, Lagos and
Port Harcourt. It is unlikely
that at any point a region, as
a collective, has endorsed the
destruction of another as a
matter of policy. It is a belief
fuelled purely by dogma, self-
delusion, ignorance and
bigotry in varying levels.
When commentators and
terrorists publicly refer to
Nigerians in “us and them’
terms; when they suggest the
separation of Nigeria in order
to rid the country of ‘the bad-
people’, it amounts to the
pursuit of an agenda to
revoke the full civil liberties
of other Nigerians. Also, the
people who think they are
defending their freedom of
speech and action by
unreasonably reducing every
mishap and tragedy in this
country down to ethnic and
religious indices, have not the
ability to exercise these
freedoms responsibly, or
judge whether others do so
because they are equally
segregating others.
The truth is that anyone who
continues to spread
disharmony and promote
dichotomy between the
different regional and ethnic
groups in the name of
fighting for freedom, is not
so different to those that set
out to harm innocent
Nigerians through violence or
otherwise. They play a large
part in perpetuating the
bloody ethnic conflicts and
tense inter-religious hatred
we see today. We demonize
the extremes of violence, but
each form of violence
exaggerates an endemic
process of persuasion by
those at the top of the social
order. Most violence is not
idiosyncratic: An irresponsible
and careless expression by
influential members of a
society has the greatest
potential of taking on a
physical form. If those of us
who are better informed
continue to encourage
inaccurate information of
negative rhetoric and
stereotype, then Nigerians,
together or apart, will never
overcome.
We need to start addressing
the real issues and the
particular individuals that
have decayed this nation and
apportioning blame where
blame is due rather than
allowing primitive sentiments
to oppress our minds. If
individuals in government
loot our coffers, they, and
not their village folk, should
take individual responsibility
for their misappropriation. If
some crazy, demonic fanatic
goes on a murderous
rampage and blows up
guiltless Nigerians, the blood
of the innocents should be on
that individual person’s
hands and not on all the
people who read the same
scripture as him.
In the 52 years that we have
existed as an independent
country, terrible things have
happened to Nigeria; gross
amounts of abuse, loathing
and corruption have
underlined our existence. But
with the bad, comes the good
because in those 52 years,
wonderful things have also
happened. I have always
believed Nigeria’s main asset
is its people and diversity.
Whenever I meet a Nigerian
abroad, the tribe they come
from or the stereotypes that
their region is burdened with
has never been a
consideration for me. The
fact that they come from
Nigeria always gives me a
sense of camaraderie and
pride. Yes, we are different;
different customs, different
foods, different languages,
different attire, different
features and different beliefs
but not so different that we
cannot respect and embrace
those differences.
I am a Hausa/Fulani from
Katsina who is absolutely
proud of my identity, culture
and heritage. But before that
I am, first and foremost, a
Nigerian to my very core with
the spirit and soul of my
beloved motherland. I am
more than happy to come
from the most populous,
interesting and diverse
country in Africa.
This nation is very
complicated and disturbed,
but through God’s will we
exist as a nation. And just like
Beer Math, although we are a
complicated formula, the
different and various people
fated together under this
nation in theory does make
sense to me. So if anybody
tells you that Nigeria can add
and multiply its worth by
subtracting a certain region
and dividing the country,
despite the fact that their
words sound like it’s
emanating from a beer
parlour, tell them about the
unconventional logic I
showed you today in Beer
Maths!

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Twitter- @hanneymusawa

#CONSENSUS 2015