Our Brand New Second Hand Girl Is Back By Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo

By all indications, there has
been a recent improvement
in power supply across a few
metropolises in Nigeria.
Some Nigerians are
beginning to take notice. I
don’t expect that little
improvement to muffle the
critics of the plan of the
Minister of Power, Prof. Bart
Nnaji. The critics may tone it
down, recalibrate and pause,
but I expect them to ask
deeper questions. Questions
like, is this improvement a
fluke? Can it be sustained?
What is the cost of this new
power to ordinary Nigerians?
Are ordinary Nigerians being
fleeced by these power
holding companies?
Of course, the critics will
keep doing their job. On the
other hand, the masses that
are enjoying the slight
improvement in performance
will be at the forefront of
providing cheers and support
for the minister. And that will
be genuine support and not
the ones generated by 149-
computer-wielding-
government-propaganda
brigade who dedicate their
lives to spewing on every
website and across all social
media forum their scripted
delusions as substitute for
reality.
As for the masses, it will be
helpful if they will increase
their expectations. Low
expectation is probably the
second most deadly disease
killing Nigeria – right after
corruption. But it is quite
understandable when the
masses don’t increase their
expectations. In a country
like Nigeria where the
performance index has been
so low for generations, a
distance from minus nine to
zero is bound to be
celebrated with fanfare by
those who are confused
about where their rights end
and their privileges begin.
As for me, I am not rolling
out a red carpet or even a
drumbeat anytime soon.
Maybe after four years of 24-
hour non-interrupted power
supply to places as far away
as Okitipupa, Akwanga and
Katangora, will I consider
naming Prof. Bart Nnaji an
Order of the Niger.
Now enters Dr. Doyin Okupe.
Insect antennas are up.
Blinking red lights are on.
Barrages of razor-sharp
words are stampeding
around the Nigerian political
space looking for heads to
slice. These maneuvering
could only mean one thing.
He is baack!
An old English law says that a
dog has the right to its first
bite. But does it have the
audacity to a second bite? …
Unless it transforms itself
from a dog into a lion while
remaining, for all intents and
purposes, an overfed cock.
Dr. Doyin Okukpe was the
spokesman of President
Olusegun Obasanjo. He was
recently hired by President
Goodluck Jonathan to act as
his Senior Special Assistant
on Public Affairs. Since his
arrival, the public space has
been lit up.
Despite the distraction he
provides, his coming into the
scene will help us have that
long postponed debate on
the fundamental
responsibility of the
government, the citizens and
the gods. Maybe now we will
answer the questions – who
is a patriot and what does it
mean to be a patriot?
Okupe’s coming also has
some entertainment value.
If the recent exchanges
between Okupe vs Tunde
Bakare and Okupe vs El-Rufai,
are anything to go by, we are
in for a thrilling time. The old
conventional wisdom of years
past was that criticism should
be constructive and offer
alternative solutions. The
modern response to that idea
is: Says who? If you are short
of ideas, quit and let others
with ideas try. Why are you
getting paid almost a billion
naira a year for feeding
alone, when you have no
idea what to do about the
problems of the country?
Why are you earning 600
million naira a year yet,
expect those opposed to your
views to offer you ideas?
It is one change in public
discourse that has gotten the
conservatives rattled. The
other conventional wisdom of
the telegram years was that
leaders should be respected-
that even when they do not
deserve that respect, their
office should be respected.
Today’s thinking has changed
all that. The wind of
knowledge democratization
has exposed the anuses of
our leaders. For the informed
masses, it is difficult to
respect leaders who do not
respect themselves, their
offices, or the people they
serve.
The truth is that the world
has changed so much since
Doyin Okupe last held the
same position under
Obasanjo’s government.
Then, the market woman at
Okitipuka did not have a
sophisticated mobile phone
with which she could react to
what the likes of Okupe were
saying at the corridors of
power in Abuja. The last time
Okupe was directing public
affairs, the young
unemployed youth in
Akwanga had no blog that is
read across the world. Now,
a taxi driver in Katangora can
call SaharaTV via skype right
inside his taxi and dispute
what Okupe is saying at one
of their so-called World Press
Conferences.
It won’t be long before
Okupe finds out that it is no
longer his grandfather’s
public that he is charged to
direct. The likes of Okupe no
longer have exclusive access
to the almighty “facts on the
ground.” Now there is XYZ
show http://
youtu.be/1Rrc3qQ1uPU
making fun of politicians,
taking them to task for what
they do, say and think. There
is Dr. Damages Show http://
youtu.be/BNNOkbo1MqY
throwing back to the political
space the vomits that political
actors like Okupe disgorge
and wish to cover up. There
is Keeping it Real http://
youtu.be/E1_SRiBxDWw
making mockery of the
macabre dance that public
officials display in the name
of governance. Rather than
illicit sympathy, the prevailing
consensus is, “if you cannot
take the heat, you stay out of
the kitchen.”
What does it all mean? The
political space has expanded
beyond what an office under
the presidency of any country
can control. The public
affairs actors in government
will keep trying but they will
keep failing until they learn
to rely more on results to
speak for them and not
excuses and attacks on
critics.
Since the judiciary/the law
enforcement wing cannot
impose consequences for
impunity and, since the
masses cannot yet get
together and dethrone the
rulers who are unaccountable
to them, what is left for the
masses is to split into two –
those who will join them and
those who will talk back.
Talking back is the powerless
man’s way of fighting back.
The greatest spokesperson
any government can employ
is that man named
performance. The greatest
patriotic act any critic can
render to his country is to
keep eternal vigilance. The
government should not be
distracted by the critic’s
cynicism neither should the
critic be distracted by
government’s propaganda, –
or in the case of Nigeria, by a
cock’s crow.
He’s baaack! So let us enjoy
it while it lasts. After all, he is
nothing more than what
Peter Tosh called a brand
new second hand girl.

#CONSENSUS 2015