Saint Peter’s Memo To Jonathan: Take A Retreat By Okey Ndibe

Dear President Jonathan: You’re not
the first Nigerian public official to
receive a letter from heaven, but I
hope you will be the last. I have
God’s instructions to write this letter
to you, and to make it as plain as
possible.
You recently said you were
entrusting Nigeria in God’s hands.
The theme of this letter is simple:
God says no! You and your bunch of
Nigerian politicians (with a lot of
help from many citizens) have made
a mess of your country. God’s reply
is, keep your organized scam of a
country. No, God wants no part of
the confusion that Nigeria has
become.
Look at all the gifts God bestowed
on your country. He put massive
reserves of oil, tin, coal, bauxite, iron
– to name a few – in the depths of
the Nigeria land. All Nigerians
needed was a bit of imagination,
intelligence, prudence, restraint and
vision – and your country would be
one of the best addresses on earth.
Alas, Nigerians (especially “leaders”
like yourself) have left most of the
resources untapped. And you have
all squandered the fortune from oil.
You’ve wasted your oil riches
through greed, in pursuit of frippery
and frivolity.
Here in heaven, Nigerian politicians
are regarded as a pathetic, comedic
bunch. You’re all notorious for
hypocritical or misconceived
statements. Most of you rig
elections, for example, and then
proclaim that your power came from
God. You all loot the treasury – and
claim that God blessed you with
wealth. You all let Nigerian roads
deteriorate to a terrible state. Then,
when horrible accidents occur on
these roads, presto, you blame the
deaths and injuries on some
faceless demon.
Nigerian public officials are
laughable. You fly to German,
British, American, Saudi Arabian,
French and Indian hospitals
whenever you or members of your
immediate family have a health
scare – or, sometimes, just a
headache. You forget that true
leaders work to develop their own
countries. Nelson Mandela, one of
the noblest leaders in the world,
doesn’t ever leave South Africa for
medical treatment abroad. It was
South Africans, not God, who built
their country’s healthcare system.
You and your associates have done
nothing to lift Nigeria’s healthcare
system from its squalid state. That’s
one reason millions of Nigerians die
needlessly.
Nigerian “leaders” spend long
hours, day and night, carting away
their country’s resources to private
bank accounts all over the world.
Then, as your country gets more
mired in misery, you shout that God
is in control. God says, “Tufia!” God
has no part in decadence and
corruption. You and your associates
admonish the victims of corruption
to pray and fast, to importune
heaven for solutions to their
manifold problems. You award
national honors to certified
criminals, and then wonder that
terrorists and kidnappers prowl the
land. With a straight face, you sell a
lie to Nigerians: that it’s God’s job
to pronounce a halt to the spree of
suicide bombings and other forms
of violence.
I’m going to be blunt. God is not
amused a bit about the way
Nigerian officials abuse His name.
Your appalling habit causes a lot of
head-shaking, and even the
occasional fury, in heaven.
You must be aware that I rebuked
your predecessors for making light
of God’s name. You must know that
I sternly warned them to leave God
out of their sinister plots and
diabolical schemes. Yet you,
President Jonathan, have chosen to
carry on in the manner of previous
occupants of Aso Rock. That’s why
this letter became not only
necessary but also urgent.
Recently, you attended a congress
of the Redeemed Christian Church of
God. The caption of one newspaper
report said it all: “RCCG Congress:
Jonathan Entrusts Nigeria to God.”
The report’s opening paragraph
stated: “President Goodluck
Jonathan has entrusted the nation’s
future into God’s care. On Friday,
Jonathan told the teeming
congregation at this year’s Holy
Ghost Congress organized by the
Redeemed Christian Church of God
that prayer is the panacea to the
country’s present challenges.”
The report continued: “Jonathan
assured the congregation that he
will not give up on doing what was
right, adding, with optimism, ‘I have
a strong conviction that we shall all
overcome our present challenges.’”
You were quoted as claiming that
your 2011 election owed to “the
efforts of the General Overseer of
RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, and
the innumerable members of the
church, who overwhelmingly
supported him.” In your own words,
“Two years ago, I was here to seek
the face of God and ask for your
prayers for the last presidential
election. I want to thank God that
the victory was made possible
through the prayers of Pastor
Adeboye and the church.” And the
paper quoted more of your words,
remarkable (above all) for the
misalliance between expression and
reality. For example, you boasted: “I
am guided by biblical principles of
transparency in leadership;
government is pursuing the agenda
of regaining the trust of the people
to foster unity and peace.”
You had come to this year’s
congress, you told the congregation,
“to pray for signs and wonders in
government.” And, lo and behold,
one such verbal “wonder” came as
you “knelt down before the whole
congregation” for a “prayer
session.” Pastor Adeboye was
apparently so carried away by your
presidential aura that he went into
rhetorical overdrive. “He is the God
of wonders who turns
impossibilities to possibilities,” said
the good preacher. He continued:
“Our concerted prayers for the
country and her president will surely
turn the tide and restore the
country’s lost glory. With our
leaders turning to God for wisdom
and sense of direction in prayers,
God’s mighty hand that delivered
Israelites from Egypt and brought
water out of the rock would change
our misfortunes.”
It was all theater, President
Jonathan. And God wants you and
others like you to know that Pastor
Adeboye was speaking for himself.
God is not impressed in the least.
Look at the countries that are doing
well today; you won’t find their
leaders – true leaders, by the way –
kneeling before any pastor to hand
over their countries to God. Such
false, showy piety is the recourse of
hypocrites and clueless leaders.
Again, God is not impressed.
At any rate, if you were guided by
biblical principles, then you would
act compassionately towards the
teeming populace of Nigerians who
– like you in the past – are
shoeless, foodless, bookless – and
close to hopeless. You would not be
spending more than two billion
naira building a banquet hall for
your Olympian feasts when tens of
millions of Nigerian children go to
bed each night with hunger ringing
rude bells in their empty stomachs.
There’s nothing in the Bible that
justifies the president feting himself
with more than a billion naira in a
country where the minimum wage is
a crime against the humanity of its
recipients.
Those of us in heaven thought we
had heard everything – until you
claimed to be a practitioner of
“transparency in leadership.” We
immediately summoned Saint Paul,
the resident language expert around
here, but he couldn’t decipher your
words. Or rather, he couldn’t find
anything in your record to justify the
phrase. In the end, in his
characteristic sense of humor, he
concluded that you must be drawing
attention to your transparent disdain
for Nigerians. Remember how you
responded to cheeky Nigerians who
demanded that you – permit me to
use your words – display
“transparency in leadership” by
openly declaring your assets? You
hectored, “I don’t give a damn!”
To return to a serious vein, here’s
the message, President Jonathan.
There are no signs or wonders
coming your way anytime soon. You
want signs and wonders? Make it
happen! Create some. Fire the really,
really sleazy ministers in your
cabinet and hand them over to
serious prosecutors. Do it today, not
tomorrow, and there would be a nice
sign. Slough off the obscene
privileges and trappings of your
office, roll up your sleeves, and go
meet Nigerians in the hovels and
shacks where they reside in extreme
privation. If you really intend to
elevate their condition, go to them
and excite them with the zeal of
your dream. Inspire them with a
vision of real, meaningful change.
Your countrymen and women desire
and deserve real leadership; cease
serving them the pablum of divine
providence. Here are some of the
things that your people need and
yearn for: good roads, regular,
dependable power supply, an
excellent educational system, an
effective healthcare program, good
jobs, the institution of sound moral
and ethical values, and a legal
system that does not spare the
mighty, the wealthy or the
connected.
Let me make clear: God is not in the
business of building roads, hospitals
or schools. He doesn’t build electric
power plants. He doesn’t sweep dirt
from streets or act as a prosecuting
attorney. These jobs are
competently handled every day by
humans – and in many nations,
including those that officially don’t
believe in God.
In the coming year, I suggest that
you and other Nigerian officials take
a retreat. Set aside one week, travel
to a secluded location (without cell
phones, TV or any other
distractions), and meditate. Ask
yourself if you have what it takes to
be a real leader, not just a self-
aggrandized copy. In the end, if you
find that you don’t have a clue how
to lead, that you must throw your
hands up and raise your head to the
sky, gazing for signs and wonders,
then may I suggest, simply, that you
declare yourself ill-equipped for the
office you hold? Yes, do for yourself
what a boxer’s handlers do when
their man is being battered in the
ring: throw in the towel.

Please follow me on twitter @
okeyndibe
( okeyndibe@gmail.com )