Federal Executive council Chamber

At a time many felt that the only other thing that could make Reuben Abati relevant in the scheme of things is to fund a fishing trawler for the creeks of Ilaje, the man reinvented himself with the best thing he has ever done in his life – writing. Public office is not for every comer, but nobody lives under the illusion that they could do it better than the critic. Listen to the criticism of football fans whenever their team loses a match and you may start wondering where talent scouts were looking hiring clueless coaches.

One of the most poignant post-villa pieces of Abati was about the spiritual aspects of living and working in the Villa. It was one piece that drew the ire of his successor, Femi Adesina, whom some say with time might take the garland from Abati in the performance of his duties. With hindsight the question being asked is – is the Villa jinxed?

The black race hardly believes that anything happens naturally. That is why the Sangoma is still active in South Africa while to be called a Sanguma in Papua New Guinea is to sign a death warrant. The South African Sangoma is the mediator priest who stands between the spirits and humanity. In Papua New Guinea, a sanguma is a witch and the rest of the largely converted society takes the Mosaic Law seriously (just like David Oyedepo) – suffer not the witch to live.

It’s almost three months since President Buhari has been absent from duty, albeit legally. When he left, he was supposed to be going on a vacation during which he was scheduled to see his doctors. Except for wailers who wonder why he needed a London doctor when he has access to Naija’s best and access to the most budgeted clinic south of the Sahara. Wailers would always find excuses to wail. Reality is that, President Buhari is hale and hearty though he suffers from an undisclosed ailment for which his foreign doctors have recommended London fresh air. He can afford it. According to Attahiru Jega, majority of us gave him that capacity when we put our thumbprints on the logo of the broom during the last presidential elections.

There is something uncanny about the Villa that only the strong have survived. I know because while Sai Baba is lying critically hale and hearty in London, Osinbajo a pastor of the Redeemed stock is performing excellently according to his friends. He must know something about exorcising the demons in the seat of power that his predecessors do not know. It is rumoured that even President Jones’ vice, Nnamdi Namadi Sambo is lying critically ill somewhere, nursing something closer to Baba na Dutse’s radiculopathy. You could argue that Atiku Abubakar is hale and hearty, but remember how he paid the price becoming the enemy of his former boss before the reconciliation.

I don’t believe that Naija power necessarily corrupts as much as it destroys friendships, which is why I keep telling the choristers singing Osinbajo’s strides to pipe low. It’s too early in the day to categorically say that all is well that ends well. As people already know, no occupant of the villa has truly ended well.

Babangida, who ran into the cleft of the rocks to escape assassination on the streets of Lagos ended with radiculopathy for which he frequently makes medical tourism. We all know that maximum ruler, Sani Abacha died in the villa just like Umaru Yar’adua. It was widely rumoured that one of General Abdulsalami’s daughters was so hyped by forces within the villa that she would regale her dad with stories of her nightmares and plead for an early exit. It was said that any idea of marking time at the villa was destroyed by that daughter.

That makes Abdulsalami and Ernest Shonekan the only two occupants of the Rock to have escaped ‘spiritual’ repercussions. Ironically, the two men were accidental rulers not having plotted a coup nor elected into office but benign choices of circumstance.

The wizard of Ota, aka Obj suffered several setbacks in the villa. He lost his wife, Stella inside the villa and left with a ruptured but now mended friendship with his vice. Lame Pat, aka Mama Peace did not become Evans Bipi’s Jesus Christ for the fun of it, she confessed to beating the real saviour’s record by dying and ressurrecting seven times on a German gurney. According to Abati, she has been hale and hearty since her husband left the villa although her multi-million dollar gifts are not so lucky.

This is the end of the matter, until Naija hospitals become better than mere consulting clinics, its rulers would keep budgeting for upgrades but ending up as specimen for house officers in foreign lands. Nevertheless let those who believe in higher powers put all their biases aside and pray for the safe return of Sai Baba. When that happens, which we hope would be very soon, invite powerful exorcists to weed out the evil that haunts Camp Buhari.
Culled from Dailytrust